My Self

Just a little story I wrote...Maybe I'll turn it into a poem sometime in the future.

I used to be happy, so free that I'd soar - through the air, in the clouds, above the tallest tree - and when I'd land, coming down to earth, others would join me on wings of new life

Together we'd fly, together gazing at earths grand wonders, going, climbing, higher we'd soar.

But along the way, through the journey of life, I lost myself in some unknown land;

not noticing at first I went on my way. Time went on, I found I could no longer fly, I was heavy,

and sad.

Lost in a wilderness unknown I wandered,

for you see, my Self was also my compass,

it showed my where to go; my Self showed me how to go, but self was lost, and so was I.

As days went by, I saw others who's Selves were not lost, I saw them soar above, reaching down when I needed help the most. I tried to follow them, but it didn't feel right;

their Selves were different from mine, and I couldn't follow them long before I was lost again.

I began to notice there were walls all around, I was stuck, I couldn't get out unless I could fly.

Though I knew my Self was gone, I had to try. So I tried, again, and again, and again.

I had to fly, "I must," thought I, "If I'm ever going to find me self again.

But I must find myself if I am to fly again once more."

At times despair got the better of me, I let myself fall, but "Once More! Just One More Try!"

Something kept calling from inside.

I did, I gave it one more try, the best effort I had, all the strength I could muster;

and you know what happened?

I began to fly!

I found my Self! I found it.

All along it was inside me, waiting to fly, waiting for me to unlock the small room I had stuffed it inside.

My poor Self, I had not lost it, but cruelly confined it inside the dungeon of my heart.

For years it had sat there trying to get out, chained down with heavy iron,

just like me.

I'm not quite sure why it so deep, why I locked myself up in a room with no key,

but I think it might have something to do with a feeling of shame,

because someone had criticized my Self, and I was embarrassed.

So I shoved it down far, as far as I could reach, but not all at once, just bit by bit,

until it was gone, and could not return.

By being myself, as I was when I had my Self, by trying again, and again, and again,

with each try I uncovered some part, scraped off a layer of pride, and uncovered my heart;

then, with the last and final try, with all power of will I could find, I opened my heart,

and my Self was free.

And now that I'm found, now that my Self is free, I can soar once again,

through the air, in the clouds, above the tallest tree - and when I land, coming down to earth, others will join me on wings of new life.

Together we'll fly, together gazing at earths grand wonders, going, climbing, higher we'll soar.

Some Thoughts About Mission

This is just some thoughts I've had recently about finding out what your personal mission is, and some thoughts about mine. Some of you might have already heard the first part, I apologize for the redundancy.... :) btw, this post sounds infinitely better if you read it out loud like an Alyssa speech; lots of passion, and expression...and slightly lacking in volume control.

First I will start out by stating, on the most basic level, what I think personal mission is: Each and every one of us choose God's plan, we chose His will, and I believe that before we came to Earth, we sat down with Father in Heaven and together created our mission; Father knew everything, and everyone of us - for even at that time we were individuals, we had passions, we had interests, talents, educations etc, and that was what our mission was based upon.
Simply put, our mission is God's will and ours combined.


Last week I was reading The Return of the King; I love the Lord of the Rings series, there is so much truth and symbolism in them, but there was one thing I could not stand: in the battle of Gondor - at least before the Rohirrim, and Aragorn arrived - there was no hope. No hope in their cause, their noble cause. Not one single person was able to cling to some small vein of hope, while the darkness gathered -- not one person stood to urge them to courage, not one person. Not one!

All was despair.

My heart ached with sorrow for them! With all the energy of my soul I longed to comfort them, I longed to urge them on, I longed to cry out with all the fervor and passion I posses "Brethren, shall we not go on in so great a cause? Go forward and not backward. Courage brethren, courage; and on, on to victory!"

All while I was reading, I was composing speeches in my head. Battle cries, battle cries of hope.

After a while, I stepped back and analyzed what I had felt, and as I did so, I thought; Surely this fervent passion was not meant to be an idle one, this burning desire was not kindled to be kept in, for if it has not room to grow, it must die. Nay; this ardent love shan't be a silent one! There will come times when this hope no longer shines in men's hearts, there will be times when men have forgotten trust, when they have laid aside the faith of their fathers: all will seem lost, despair will reign. Then I must speak, then will be my chance to let loose the fire of my passion for hope, a fire that will burn so bright in the hearts of those who hear, that despair cannot stay, but will flee to the dark corners of space where man cannot go, and then will stay, banished in exile, until the whole universe is so full of the light of hope that the darkness of despair cannot help but be destroyed!


This experience also led me to the conclusion that the reason we read classics is - at least partly - to find our mission: as we read we see things that are missing, things that we are passionate about, sometimes things we may not have realized we were passionate about; and we see people, and their missions, we see similarities between their mission and ours, and this helps us to gain greater understanding of our own mission, because we see it in a new light, we see different aspects of our mission, we may even at times see things that warm the flame of passion within us, but, with a sad resignation, realize "that is not where my mission lies."
For example, I also recently read Joan of Arc, by Mark Twain, personality-wise I can very much relate to her, and a huge part of her mission was restoring hope to France. She also led the armies of France, she saved her country from an oppressive enemy. Oh, how I would love to lead the armies of America against those who would seek to destroy my rights, and the freedom of those I love!
And yet, something deep within me gently says, "Alyssa, it's not your place."


More and more lately, I've been learning - and the more I learn, the more excited I become - that "[My] greatest mission is to give life, earth-life, through honorable marriage, to the waiting spirits, our Father’s spirit children who anxiously desire to come to dwell here in this mortal state. All the honor and glory that can come to men or women ... from an applauding world... is but a dim thing whose luster shall fade in comparison to the high honor, the eternal glory, the ever-enduring happiness that shall come to the woman who fulfills the first great duty and mission that devolves upon her to become the mother of the sons and daughters of God.*" More and more I'm realizing that that, more than anything else is where my mission, passion, and desires lie. And what a joy it is!




* Elder Malvin J. Ballard, ask me for the full quote if you're interested, it's amazing!!!!!!!

Agency

These are just some thoughts I had about agency awhile ago. This is NOT doctrine, nor is it strongly backed by or based upon it; it is merely philosophy. It is also very disjointed. please feel free to correct or disagree with me on any point whatsoever, I would very much enjoy it :)

Before the world began there was a war, a mighty war in Heaven - which war is still wagging today - We were, and are, among the most valiant that fought; we were not merely fighting for ideals, but for truths, for beings. If we lost,we would not just loose agency and freedom, not only would love be made void and law cease to exist, but I would no longer Be. We would no longer have an Identity. There would be no individual; No self. We would be come "part" or "extensions" of the devil, for, we could not choose, we could not act, we could not think, we may have thoughts, but they would be planned for us, and we would have no ability to direct them, for that requires a will and a choice.

But we do not become "one" with him as we do the Savior: when we become one with Christ, we can grow, progress, and learn throughout the eternities, we can become.

When we follow Satan, that great serpent, we are being acted upon; we are not acting, we are not choosing, we are not progressing, we are not living. We become one with Christ, yet still individual, whereas with Lucifer, we are merely assimilated into the whole and used, not strengthened built upon or raised, but used, worn out, and spent, like a sponge that eventually wears away to nothing after years of use and can no more be joined together.

That's why so many people now have to be special and unique, it's what they fought for! And those coming down to earth now are the ones that fought the hardest for it.

Every law of man, every government and every action either infringes upon our agency or allows it to flourish.

We must have opposition in order to become. If there was no opposition our life would be as someone pushing a lump of clay from one side, it doesn't do much other than make it fall over into a worthless clump that is utterly unidentifiable; but if you have pressure on it from all sides, especially when that pressure is being applied by a wise hand, it will form a beautiful sculpture.

Btw, I wrote this before I read the Screwtape Letters, so it's all original thought.

Noble And Of Good Cheer

This is slightly random, but I thought it was interesting.

My name means Noble and of good Cheer, so a couple days ago I decided to to look up the meaning of the word noble (I thought I knew what it meant, but I wasn't completely sure, I have now found out I had no clue) I had a old dictionary from the 60s right by me so I looked it up there first. This is what it says: Having, showing, or indicative of high or elevated character; grand or impressive, especially in appearance; possessing, characterized by, or arising from superiority of mind, or of character, or of morals or ideals; of high birth or exalted rank;possessing very high and excellent qualities or properties.

Then I decided to look it up in the 1828 dictionary, it was pretty much the same, just slightly more meaningful: Great; elevated; dignified; being above every thing that can dishonor reputation; as a noble mind; a noble courage; noble deeds of valor. Exalted; elevated; sublime. Magnificent; stately; splendid; Of an ancient and splendid family; Distinguished from commoners by rank and title; Free; generous; liberal; as a noble heart. Principal; capital; as the noble parts of the body. Ingenuous; candid; of an excellent disposition; ready to receive truth. Acts 17. Of the best kind; choice; excellent.

Wikipedia says: Having honorable qualities; having moral eminence and freedom from anything petty, mean or dubious in conduct and character.

After finding such immense joy learning what Noble meant, I decided to look up the word Cheer. This is what the 1828 dictionary said: Cheer: To dispel gloom, sorrow, silence [:P I love that part] or apathy; to infuse life; spirit, animation; to incite; to encourage; A state of gladness or joy; a state of animation, above gloom and depression of spirits, but below mirth, gayety and jollity. Cheerfulness; Full of life; gay; animated; mirthful; musical; as the cheerful birds.

Then I decided to look up the word Good. The 1828 Noah Webster's dictionary defines it (among many other things) as; Having strength adequate to it's support; complete or sufficiently perfect in it's kind; sound; perfect; uncorrupted; undamaged; full; having qualities or abilities to produce good effect.

Noble And Of Good Cheer

So, I have concluded that this is what my name means: Alyssa; Having or showing elevated character, morals and ideals and a perfect, uncorrupted ability to dispel gloom, sorrow, apathy and silence; full of life; mirthful; musical, as the cheerful birds.

Yes We Can- Expanded

I wrote this speech for a speech and debate competition in January. It's so much more powerful if you here it in person, in fact I got superior on delivery from all the judges, but you'll just have to settle for this...Though I would be happy to give it to you any time you want!

President Obama recently stated:

"In the unlikely story of America, there has never been anything false about hope. For when we have faced down impossible odds; when we've been told that we're not ready, or that we shouldn't try or that we can't, generations of Americans have responded with a simple creed that sums up the spirit of the people. Yes we can. It was the creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation. Yes we can.”

These are powerful and inspirational words, but there’s something missing, one critical element has been left out.

Permit me to bring to your remembrance a painting, one of aprominent man from the revolutionary war, a time when our forefathers truly did face down impossible odds. This painting is one of George Washington kneeling on the white, snow covered ground, uttering a prayer of earnest supplication to his God.

Now recall with me the constitutional convention in Philadelphia. It was towards the end, the whole convention was stagnant, nothing was getting done, no progress was being made, and the government they had dreamed of now seemed impossible to bring into actuality. They were on the precipice of disaster, the zenith of despair, when a wise man, by the name of Benjamin Franklin, stood, and suggested that they implore that same Being for help who had delivered them from the awful grasp of a despotic tyrant.

Permit me to draw one more example before I move on, that of the founding documents which, like a parent to a tender child, have shaped and guided the destiny of this nation. Where is it written into the Constitution, or the Declaration of Independence, “Yes We Can?” Nowhere! At least not directly, though it may be derived from the statement that it is our right and our duty to throw of any government designing to reduce us under absolute despotism; yes, we can throw them off, we have the right, but why is this right, this duty, if not for the unalienable rights of life liberty, and the pursuit of happiness with which our creator has endowed us?

When Washington and Franklin faced down those impossible odds, were they saying ‘yes we can?’ Or rather, were they saying ‘yes we can, because in God we trust?’

Was not this the creed upon which this nation was founded? Is not that the motto written across our currency? Is not this the Spirit which generations of Americans have adopted, that is, until recently?

When you remove this critical element from the government, it’s not unlike forgetting the leavening, or the rising agent, when making bread. At first, when the bread is still dough, you can’t tell that it’s missing, but when the bread is put into the oven tested and tried by the immense heat, instead of rising to it’s full potential, bread, the mainstay of life, it falls.

What has happened to our country to make us forget this essential element? Why, in the time when we need Him the most, in the heat of these modern days, have we taken God out o our schools, our government, and our lives?

How has atheism become our national religion? What happens now?

What happens now that we’ve taken God out of our government? The government becomes a god.

For proof of this claim, we only need look at our own country.

The phrase innocent until proven guilty, for instance, comes from the Anglo-Saxons and was later expanded upon by Blackstone. They believed it was better for guilty man to go free, than for an innocent man to be punished, deprived by man of his God given rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, Because God is just, and will punish the guilty ; but they would be cursed of God for holding an innocent man in captivity, or depriving him of his life.

When you take God out of it, that essential leavening, doesn’t it seem more reasonable that a man questionably committed a heinous crime of one sort or another be deprived of life liberty, or the pursuit of happiness, then that he go free and perhaps commit the same crime again?

And without a Creator to crown us with those unalienable rights, where else would they come from but the government? And if the government has the power to provide or grant us these rights, does it not also have the power to define what they mean, and even, to take them away? Or, if there is no God, do we even have rights?

To paraphrase Nietzsche "Rights are dead, and we have killed them."


Another example is the hate crime laws. Hate crime, in essence, committing a crime against someone because of their ethnicity, religion, handicap, or gender orientation. The only difference between this and a so called regular crime, is hate crimes are punished more severely. By adding this additional punishment, not only are you punishing the act of crime, but also the thought and the feeling behind the crime or the ‘belief’ if you will.

By doing this, the government is stepping into the realm where only God should reign!


The heart.


But because there is no God, this is all reasonable. Their only using that power, and control for good, right? To protect people from hating each other, to foster love. They are the highest authority, after all, and without God, how else will can we bring this hideous desire and feeling into subjection?

When we take God out a the government, the government assumes the
role of a god, and we let it, for we have forgotten.

"The same revolutionary beliefs for which our forefathers fought are still at issue around the globe; the belief that the rights of man come not from the generosity of the state but from the hand of God." Said President JFK

"If Americans should ever come to believe that their rights and freedoms are instituted among men by politicians and bureacrats, then they will no longer carry theproud inheretance of their forefathers,but will grovel before their masters seeking favors and dispensations." Said Ezra Taft Benson, former secretary of agriculture and influential religious leader.

"Can the liberties of a nation be thought secure when we have removed their only firm basis, a conviction in the minds of the people that these liberties are the gift of God? That they are not to be violated but by His wrath." Said president Jefferson


"We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of Heaven; we have been preserved these many years in peace and prosperity; we have grown in numbers, wealth and power as no other nation has ever grown. But we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious hand which has preserved us in peace and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us, and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us." Abraham Lincoln

'If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under.' - Ronald Reagan

"And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the arock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall." Helaman 5:12

In these words we find the solution. WE MUST REMEMBER. We must remember where our rights come from, and we must declare it to those who have forgotten.

But this solution, as with anything with value, takes time. You can plant an apple seed, but it takes years before that seed will produce fruit. Yet in the meantime, their will be weeds that begin to grow, insects that attempt to infest, and howling winds seeking to destroy.
So it is also with this solution. While people are remembering, laws will be made, politicians elected, and the fierce winds of persecution will blow.
We must protect this precious tree.
How?
Actively involve yourself in politics, shout for those policies which are right and do all in your power to stop those from passing which will destroy, and elect those who will do the same!

Then, once again, instead of being one nation gone under, we will be one nation under God that has risen above, then once again, these words upon which our nation was founded, will ring louder and louder from coast to coast - YES WE CAN, BECAUSE IN GOD WE TRUST!

1984

I wrote this a couple months ago and thought it might be worth posting.

I finished reading 1984 today. In the last forty pages or so it talked about reality, 'it only exists in your mind, nothing is really real,' in addition, it was one of those days when nothing seemed real, like I was walking through a dream (I don't know if other people ever have days like that, but I do fairly often,) and I was wondering what reality was, questioning, doubting everything; also, I was becoming very depressed-and if you know me, you know that's a big deal- about the totalitarian government, how there was absolutely no way to change it, it was "immortal," and then about America, and her future.
After I had finished reading the book we watched Elder Bednar's CES braodcast "Things As They Really Are."
As I watched I was trying, with relatively no success, to silence the part of my brain that kept saying it wasn't real- for I had been reading 1984 right before listening to the talk and I had gotten into the habit of telling myself that while I was reading to keep from getting emotionally attached and even further depressed- I kept telling myself to listen with 'blind faith', as it were, but unbidden thoughts kept coming, casting doubt into my heart, saying things like; "Your being indoctrinated," "It's not real," "You're just using double-think to make yourself believe it is," etc...
Then, just as I was on the brink of giving in to these thoughts, Elder Bednar started talking about reality, how this life, this spirit which posses my body is real, immediately all doubt and all fear, all darkness, was cast out leaving only pure, brilliant Faith. I knew at that moment that what I was hearing was truth, truth in it's purest form, that I was not just listening to some "Big Brother" figure, but an apostle that is called of God, that I couldn't be using double think because what I was hearing all corresponded with it's self and the scripture so perfectly, I did not have to simultaneously convince myself of two opposing 'facts' for it to be true. They all testified of one truth, that Jesus is the Christ.
Also, all my fears and depression about totalitarian government and America's future vanished when he said this: "This [my] generation shall establish Zion, and Zion shall reign forever."
As he spoke my heart melted, and tears flowed from my eyes, for all earthly governments shall pass away, and even if such a totalitarian government as in 1984 could be established, unconquerable by the hands of men, when Christ comes again all the wicked will be burned, Big Brother must perish, and Zion, Zion shall reign forever!

Yes We Can?

Just recently I listened to President Obama's 'Yes We Can' speech. In his speech he states;

"In the unlikely story of America, there has never been anything false about hope. For when we have faced down impossible odds; when we've been told that we're not ready, or that we shouldn't try or that we can't, generations of Americans have responded with a simple creed that sums up the spirit of the people.

Yes we can.

It was the creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.

Yes we can.

It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail towards freedom through the darkest of nights.

Yes we can.

It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.

Yes we can...

Yes we cant to justice and equality. Yes we can to opportunity and prosperity. Yes we can heal this nation. Yes we can repair the world. Yes we can."

They are amazing and inspirational words, but, contrary to what president Obama said, it is a false hope. A hope in one's own strength, a hope in one's own knowledge. And was not the creed which was 'written into the founding documents which determined the destiny of [this] nation' In God We Trust? How much truer a hope is this, a hope in something bigger than self, something bigger than any enemy which could come against us, somebody through which 'we can,' and have prevailed against all odds.
Wouldn't it be beautiful if the speech read instead;

"In the unlikely story of America, when we have faced down impossible odds; when we've been told that we're not ready, or that we shouldn't try or that we can't, generations of Americans have responded with a simple creed that sums up the spirit of the people.

In God we trust.

It was the creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.

In God we trust.

It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail towards freedom through the darkest of nights.

In God we trust.

It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.

In God we trust...

In God we trust to justice and equality. In God we trust to opportunity and prosperity. In God we trust to heal this nation. In God we trust to repair the world. In God we trust."

And instead of hundreds, possibly even thousands of men and women chanting 'Yes we can,' at the end of his speech they chanted 'In God we trust,' and instead of his speech ending;

"And together we wil bigin the next great chapter in America's story with these three words which will ring from coast to coast, from sea to shining sea-Yes we can."

they ended as this blog entry will.

Together with God, we will continue America's great story, with a creed with which she was founded that will ring louder and louder from coast to coast; from sea to shining sea- IN GOD WE TRUST!